MONKEYSLUT!

[RICHARD LOUIS ROBINSON]

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Richard was walking through the Hogwarts grounds, the Slytherin common room his choice of destination. He paused when he noticed a group of friends a few metres away from him. They were just talking, and laughing. Doing what friends generally did, and yet Richard felt compelled to watch. He stood mesmerized for several minutes. If he took just a couple of steps to his left, it would be as if he was a part of their group. Of course he wouldn't join in their discussion, and they probably wouldn't even notice; yet for a very brief moment it would have felt like he had friends. He quickly shook it off, however, and continued walking.

A couple of years ago, Richard probably would have took the bait and stood with the cluster of students until they noticed him, dismissed him as a freak and moved along to somewhere more private. That was the old Richard though, now things were different. At least, a little different; he was slowly coming out of his shell and feeling more like he belonged everyday. The main difference though was that he didn't need to pretend he had friends anymore because he had friends now, at least he had one friend, which was more than he could say before. Sure, his friendship with Daniel wasn't a conventional friendship; but he was certain they really were friends now. Strangely enough, as he was thinking about it, Daniel appeared from around the corner. He strolled up to him, about to say 'hello' when they were interrupted. A boy, whose hardcore appearance included that of a shaven head, had spoken to them. "Where's Conti?" he asked, his voice on the brink of threatening. Richard stared back with wide eyes; he recognised the boy as a Slytherin seventh year who had a particularly bad reputation, but this 'Conti' he had never heard of.

Tagged: Daniel
Word count: 315 words
Why?: It's just pure mindless vandalism!!! No wait... that's your line.

[DANIEL KELLAN HUGHES]

Strolling through the halls of Hogwarts castle, Daniel whistled to himself shoving his hands deep in his pockets. Without a care in the world he ran down the few staircases the prevented him from wandering out into the Hogwarts grounds. It had been such a lovely day, so why not go outside, besides, he was still avoiding Evan like the plague. Shuddering at the thought he pushed Evan to the back of his mind telling himself not to give in to that guy. Part of him was still creeped out about the 'crush' his friend now had on him while the other part of him wanted to admit that he felt something for Evan too. Shaking his head he reached up pulling a little on his curly hair. "No! That is not what we think Daniel Hughes! That is the furthest thing from my mind!" he said quite a bit louder than he initially meant.

Moving his hand away from his head he glanced around looking for anything that could be a distraction from his ever growing crush on Evan Rosier. "Aha!] He exclaimed seeing one of his favorite twats, Richard. Smiling a little he wandered over about to hit his friend in the shoulder and call him his favorite name when the bald-headed kid asked about some Conti. Looking from the bald kid to Richard he sighed. "What did I tell you about doing stuff to annoy people, Conti. Stop being a Conti, you Conti." Shaking his head quickly he turned from Richard back to the other boy. "He's Conti, but I can promise you whatever he's done to piss you off, he didn't mean. He's such a twat sometimes I can't even handle it. So if you'll just.. you know.. Wander along and go find something else to do. Thank you!" He said putting a quick smile on his face grabbing Richards' shoulders looking back at him. "There, see? All better!" He said quickly before glancing back at the boy who had pulled his wand from his robes. "Now, now, we all know I can't fight to save my life, so why don't you just put that away and we'll be okay." He said taking a step back moving a little behind Richard. "Hey twat... Maybe we should run.."

Tags: Twat.
Word count: 394
Notes: CONTI!!!!!!! And stop stealing my lines!

[RICHARD LOUIS ROBINSON]

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Richard was still rooted to the spot. He was in shock at the whole situation; just moments ago he was mindlessly minding his own business and now he and Daniel were standing at wand point. As soon as Daniel started talking, he knew he should have stopped him but it was already too late for that. He whipped his head round and stared at Daniel in disbelief. Had he really just called him a Conti? He didn't even have a chance to respond, as the seventh year Slytherin spoke once more. His voice was unnatural, and almost-robotic - he spoke with the voice you'd expect a character in some muggle action game would have - and if he wasn't threatening before, he certainly was now. "Where's my money?" He asked, his eyes narrowed at Richard.

By this point, Daniel had moved behind him and suggested they run. As cowardly as it may seem, Richard couldn't help but agree - a thought that was only confirmed when a hex flew from the tip of the boy's wand, narrowly missing their heads. A young girl walking past screamed as she dodged the spell and Richard took this as their opportunity to make a break for it. The Conti-hunter had momentarily looked the girl, and it was then that Richard turned on the spot and legged it - pushing Daniel forwards as he went. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him; he looked back once to see the boy walking after them. In his years of being bullied, Richard had been chased many times, but never had the chaser been walking after him before and quite honestly, it had never been due to a case of mistaken identidy. Before, they had always meant to be chasing him simply for being him - for being weird, or a freak. They'd never chased him because he had wronged them, but for no other reason than their own amusement. Richard wasn't sure how long he'd ran for, but the stitch in his side was telling him he needed to stop. He bent over, clutching his side, as he tried to catch his breath.

[DANIEL KELLAN HUGHES]

Staring at the bald kid for a second more he raised an eyebrow. "You stole money from him Conti?!" He asked letting an exaggerated sigh escape his mouth as he rolled his eyes. Keeping close behind Richard he stared between the two. "I do not approve of such behavior!" He said not taking his eyes off the random kid. As he was pushed Daniel took off towards the safety of Hogwarts corridors. Well, safety or just the maze that they all called their own. "Run faster twat! He can't catch us!" He said jumping dodging a blast from the boys' wand. Gasping he ran through the doors down random corridors turning at any chance he got before not being able to breath finally caught up with him. Slowing down he grabbed his side bending over as he looked around looking for his friend.

Upon seeing the twat he sighed heavily still trying to regain his breath shaking his head. "What did you do to piss him off?!" He asked his voice squeaking from the lack of oxygen. Glaring around for a minute he put his hand to rest on the wall as he looked around. "Of all the people you chose to piss off today, you choose the psycho one that's not afraid to kill us!" He contrinued slowly regaining his breath. Slowly standing up to his full height he put his hands on his hips. "I mean seriously Barry!" He continued before throwing his hands up in the air.

Before he could completely regain his composure, the sound of footsteps from around the corner had Daniel backing up against the wall grabbing Richards' robes tight in his grip. "What do we do now twat? You know I can't defend myself. All I've got is words!" He whispered slightly hysterical looking around for a quick way out. Finding a hallway a few feet away he pointed quickly before taking off towards it. "There's a bathroom this way!" Running down the hallway he looked at the doorways in turn as he passed them.

[RICHARD LOUIS ROBINSON]

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Very slowly, Richard stood upright, his hand still clutched to his side. It was a couple of moments before the stitch he'd found himself with began to reside. All the running he'd done in his life time, you'd have thought he could run across the grounds without getting a stictch by now. He clearly wasn't as fit as he liked to believe, though in his defense, Hogwarts was very big.

Richard looked at Daniel, who had caught up with him now. "I didn't do anything!" His breathing was still heavy, and he took a deep breath before continuing. "He thinks I'm Conti." That's all there was too it. Richard hadn't done anything at all, he'd simply been in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and then the wrong person came along, followed by Daniel who said all the wrong words.

He'd only just started to breath normally again when he, too, heard the dreaded footsteps. Each footstep was an equal amount of time apart, and as they got louder, he knew they could belong to no one other than the computer-boy. Richard was about to set off into a run again, when Daniel grabbed him and started screaming. "Daniel." He wasn't listening, just screaming. "Daniel." Richard repeated. How was he supposed come up with a plan if Daniel wouldn't let him speak? Or think, for that matter. Daniel soon had come up with a plan of his own, and the footsteps sounded so close now, that Richard had no choice but to follow.

He ran down the corridor as fast as his feet would take him, before stopping at the toilets. On the left was the door to the girls toilets, while on the right, was the corridor that would take them too the boys. He stood contemplating his options, and even though he knew this choice would probably result in mockery, dived through the door on the left; praying that the girl's toilets were empty.

[DANIEL KELLAN HUGHES]

Taking a few deep breaths, Daniel suddenly felt like he was going to die. All this running all because of his twat of a best friend. He wasn't athletic, everyone knew that. No one could ever expect Daniel to match anyone in running or fighting. He was all talk and he knew it, along with everyone else. Sliding as he turned a corner, he slid to a stop behind Richard staring between the two doors before watching his friend dive into the women's bathroom. "You stupid twat! That's the women's bathroom!" He managaed to squeak out before hearing footsteps behind him and diving in after his friend scrambling away from the door as fast as he could.

Leaning back against the wall he glared over at Richard. "What did you do Barry! You can't tell me this kid is chasing you for no reason! Did you hit on his girlfriend?" He asked, his voice shrill with fear, not even caring that he was squeaking everyone few words. Sliding down so he was sitting, he grabbed his hair with both of his hands pulling as he let out another squeak. Taking a few deep breaths he left his fingers tangled in his own hair. "What do we do? What do we do? He's gonna kill us. All thanks to Barry!" He said shaking his head as his voice progressively got more high pitched.

"I can't die. I'm too young and pretty to die. I should be out there causing all sorts of problems, but not dying. This is all you fault! You get us out of this mess! I didn't even do anything!" Squeaking once more he jumped up pointing his finger at Richard. Watching as his arm and hand shook from the thought of that male coming in he looked around crouching down dramatically unable to hide his fear or stop talking. "What do we do? Where do we go? We're in a woman's toilet hiding from some psycho crazed murderer! Where do we go? We can't do anything! Barry I'm too pretty to die! Think of something!"

Daniel could no longer stand in one place and started pacing the length of the bathroom as he spoke. He couldn't hold his words back and he couldn't stop the misery of the impending doom of the bald kid. Suddenly he came to realization and stopped in his tracks. "You made fun of him because he was bald, didn't you Barry! People are sensitive about that type of thing. You can't just make fun of people for their misfortunes! Unless.. well they're you.. Because you're Barry! We have to make fun of Barry!" He said sinking to his knees as the misery flooded back over him and he started to slowly lose his mind.

[RICHARD LOUIS ROBINSON]

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Richard leant against the side of a cubicle, heaving deep breaths. He heard his friend outside screaming about this being the girl's toilet, and couldn't help but slap his hand to his forehead in a face/palm. If he didn't keep his voice down, their chaser would hear them and know exactly where they were. When Daniel finally joined him, he showed no sign of quieting down - though this was typical of Daniel, when faced with a difficult or scary situation, he would simply freak out. Richard, however, was one to stay calm and try and think things through - though truth be told he was quite terrified, to put it lightly.

"I told you! I didn't do anything... it's because he thinks I'm Conti!" In frustration, Richard had began to raise his voice. This was quite a new trait for him, before hand he might have kept silent or nervously uttered but now he was starting to feel more comfortable, which in turn made him more confident. In spite of this, he couldn't really be sure Daniel was even listening as he was still rambling in panic about how he was too pretty to die. "Look, just quieten down or he'll hear you!" He said this in a low whisper, hoping to cut through Daniel's high-pitched fragging.

He was about to grab hold of Daniel and shake some sense into him, when he was hit with the next accusation. "I didn't call anyone bald." He defended himself, wearing that same wide-eyed expression he often did. The more Daniel spoke, the more Richard felt he should have been offended; though he was used to it by now. Look, calm down." Saying this was probably a bad idea because whenever you said this to someone, more often than not, it would have the opposite effect. "We just need to wait it out in here until he goes. He'd never think we'd run into the girl's bathroom." Unfortunately, Richard hadn't thought his plan through as well as he thought; catching him off-guard, a loud wailing sounded around them. "BOOOOYS! IN THE GIRL'S TOILET! WHY HAVE YOU COME HEREEEE!?"

Richard had lead them into Moaning Myrtle's toilets.

Richard wheeled around to face the ghost, who now had ghostly-tears trickling down her cheek. "I'm sorry... we were.." He spluttered, but she immediately cut him off. "HAVE YOU COME TO LAUGH AT ME!? Laugh at stupid, ugly, Moaning Myrtle. She won't mind because she's DEAD." Once again wide-eyed, Richard stared from the ghost over to Daniel hoping he could say something to calm her down. Daniel had better people-skills than he did... well actually, he didn't - he tended to just insult them - but he had more friends, so that had to stand for something.

[DANIEL KELLAN HUGHES]

Daniel sunk off his knees almost ready to flail on the floor like a child. He really wasn't above doing that sort of thing, especially when he knew this was Richard's fault. He knew it, he didn't need the proof or the fact that Richard was denying it. There was no way to change Daniel's mind and he was sure Richard knew that already. At his friends words he looked up at him with a dramatic look of terror and disbelief contorting his small features. He knew his anxiety and inability to remain calm was one of his shortcomings, but at this moment in time he didn't really care what he was good or bad at. He knew he was going to die. He knew it, this bald kid was going to kill them, all because of his twat of a best friend.

"As of right now, twat, you are conti!" He said angrily his voice going quite high pitched in his scared state. Daniel honestly didn't know why Richard was trying to quiet him down, even on a good day Daniel was never quiet. He didn't have that capability in his body whatsoever. The thought was quite amusing to most people, though he had to admit this situation should have been one where he could have tested his self control. But that was too hard, he could already see his life flashing before his eyes! What else was he supposed to do!?

"I can't quiet down! You've killed me! You and that awful personality of yours! You've killed me! I'll get you back. If I'm the only one that dies, I'm haunting you!" He said his voice gradually getting more and more shrill by the second. Staring back at the twats' wide eyed expression, Daniel freaked out even more. "Is that the only facial expression you can make!?!?" He said each time he spoke knowing he was getting more and more high pitched and dramatic. Daniel felt his own body shaking furiously at every noise the old bathroom made and he was jumpy, quickly jumping to look at where the noises were coming from. He'd honestly never been this scared in his entire life. How did he make it to be a Slytherin? That thought often crossed his mind as well.

"You made fun of him! He has like these weird sensors looking for us! He'll know where we are and he'll kill us!" He said slowly bringing his knees to his chest rocking back and forth lightly sobbing almost uncontrollably. Hearing the loud wail, Daniel felt his anxiety raise even more as he squealed loud enough for everyone to think he was a female. Watching the ghost with wide eyes and shivering even more terrified than he had been five minutes before he started to rock back and forth faster. Quickly standing up he scrambled behind Richard looking up at the ghost ready to use Richard for a shield.

Staring at the back of Richard's head, he knew nothing Richard could say could make this ghost go away. He was almost positive that there was nothing he could say to make her go away either. Daniel was quite good with the making-people-happy-enough-to-go-away thing. He liked to insult them and send them on their less than merry way. Shaking as he held on to Richard's shoulders trying, for once, to think of a way to get out of this bathroom. "W-we weren't coming here for that! I s-swear!" He said silently cursing himself for not making his voice sound stronger. Looking around behind him at a little noise he pulled lightly on Richard's shoulders trying not to catch her attention to his movements.

"I g-guess the only thing w-we can do right now is...." He looked back once more to confirm what he saw and waited for the right moment before dragging Richard to the floor with him dropping as quickly looking at the charm go right above their heads. "We are going to die!" He said turning to look at the bald kid clumsily fumbling for his wand rolling out of the way of another charm that barely missed both boys. Watching the boys' robotic movements made Daniel's mind go completely blank. He had no idea what he could do.

Refusing to take his eyes off of the boy, he vaguely heard Moaning Myrtle's screams at another boy in the bathroom watching as her form went through the bald kids' body. The color drained from his face as he watched finally managing to get his wand out of his robes pointing it at the boy who was momentarily distracted. "RICHARD! What do we do!?" He managed to somewhat control the volume of his voice, though the pitch was still unnaturally high from his normal voice. But he still couldn't bring himself to care as he scrambled up from the floor to his feet running over to hide behind Richard once more. "Do something twat!" Do something right in your life!" He said quickly holding on rather tight to his friends' robes.