You brave little soldier; I acknowledge your pain!

[ALICE MICHELE ADAMS]

ERMERGERD, BAGEL SO TASTY !

[/size]
come on bagel, get in my mouth.[/size][/center]

“And then the rabbit says, ‘I’m hare to fix your toilet!’” Alice Adams is perched on the edge of a bed in the girls’ dormitories, a broad grin on her face as she finishes her joke. She’s been telling this joke for the past fifteen minutes – some people might say that no joke should go on this long, and those people would probably be right, but Alice didn’t know any of those people, and so she was perfectly okay with taking fifteen minutes to tell a joke. Of course, the joke only took so long because she’d insisted on acting it out with a set of finger puppets she’d made in Divination the other day when she was supposed to be reading Krystal’s tea leaves. She’s a little annoyed, because the first year she’s telling the joke to isn’t laughing – though not too annoyed, because she’s pretty sure the first year is a robot – and so she narrows her eyes at the younger girl and says, “Get it? Do you get it?”

The other girl just fiddles with her hair and says, “Yeah, I get it.”

Alice takes this to mean that the girl is suffering from a disorder that makes it impossible for her to laugh, because clearly her joke was so funny that no person capable of laughing would be able to control themselves. So, with this in mind, Alice leans forward and pats the girl’s hand. “You brave little soldier…” She says, “I acknowledge your pain.”

The girl looks confused and pulls her hand away, “Sooo…. Are you gonna go to your own dormitory now?” Alice ignores this, because she definitely doesn’t care that she has taken over this first year’s bed with her pile of finger puppets. Instead of answering the girl’s question, she points a be-puppeted finger at the girl and shrieks, “WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING AT MY JOKE?”

The first year is startled and takes a step away from Alice, “It just… wasn’t that funny.”She says, but what she really means is, ‘please don’t kill me with a felt frog puppet.’

Alice’s face morphs from that of a sixteen year old girl to that of a green monster; her body stretches until she is no longer five feet tall, but ten feet tall. She grows so large, in fact, that she bursts out of her clothes, revealing bulky body-builder muscles. “YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!” She bellows, before lifting one large, green foot and stomping on the first year.

Okay, so none of that happens. Actually, what happens is Alice flings a green finger puppet at the first years head and shouts, “LAUGH AT MY JOKE!” But she totally imagines all of that happening, and isn’t that what matters?

The first year starts laughing hysterically, more out of fear than anything else, but it doesn’t matter, because Alice isn’t paying attention anymore. This is because she has been overcome with a sudden intense desire to eat a bagel. “But how will I get a bagel?” She says, thinking out loud, much to the confusion of the first year. She immediately runs through a string of options. She could go to the kitchens and get a bagel from the house elves – but no, last time she was there she made one of the elves cry by saying her potato sack dress made her look pudgy, and the other elves told her she couldn’t come back for a month or until the elf forgot about it, whichever came first. And it’s only been a week, so that one’s out. She could get Tonks to go to the kitchens for her – but Tonks is on Slughorn-Watch duty today, so Alice simply can’t bother her. She could recruit THECUTESTGIRLEVA for help, but THECUTESTGIRLEVA was told that yeast is sort of a living thing, and now she weeps uncontrollably whenever someone mentions eating bread, because she imagines a thousand tiny organisms screaming. So that leaves…

“Aha! THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD!” Alice shouts, imagining a lightbulb above her head – a lightbulb that quickly turns into a glowing bagel, making her more frantic to find THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD. “This is right up Krystal’s alley!” She says cheerfully, grabbing the first year’s arm and tugging her along behind her as she gets up and marches out of the dormitory. “Tonks is always asking THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD for options!” The first year makes a weak attempt and pulling her arm out of Alice’s grip as they march through the common room, but Alice does not let her go. “Krystal! Options!” Alice barks, in a bad imitation of Tonks’s voice as she climbs out of the portrait hole.

“Where are we going?”The first year asks, because they’re in the hall now, and Alice is showing no sign of ending their journey.

“We’re going to find THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD and I’m going to get a bagel.” Alice says. She hears the first year ask why, exactly, she has to be here for this, but she doesn’t answer, because she’s too busy trying to remember what class THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD is in right now. She thinks THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD is in Care of Magical Creatures, and this makes her happy, because she can totally get her out of that. Kettleburn is easy. She begins to skip through the halls, still dragging the first year behind her.

It’s a good five minutes before Alice manages to actually get out of the castle and into the grounds. This is because she keeps getting distracted by things – most of them Slughorn related – and turning in the wrong direction, before being reminded that if she doesn’t get a bagel she will surely die and turning around again. When she does get out to the grounds, she can see Krystal’s Care of Magical Creatures class gathered in the distance and she immediately perks up at this. She squints at the distant figures and thinks she can pick THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD out; from this far away, THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD appears to be leaning over another student and writing something on their face – though she could also just be repeatedly poking the other student in the eye, Alice isn’t sure, and by the time she gets close enough that she would be able to tell, THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD has straightened up again.

She considers asking THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD what she was doing after she has gotten THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD out of class, but then she notices that Kettleburn is standing in front of the class eating a donut, and donuts look quite a bit like bagels, so she promptly forgets that THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD was doing something interested and begins running towards the class with a fresh desire.

She is moving so quickly that she barely avoids crashing into Kettleburn; as it is, she stops quite close to him, so close that she notices a mole on his face that she’d never noticed before. She stands there a moment, contemplating the mole, before realizing that the mole isn’t actually that interesting and taking a step back. “Professor Kettleburn,” She begins, but the first year cuts her off.

“Sir, this crazy sixth year has kidnapped me!”The first year shouts.

Alice laughs heartily and pats the first year’s head. “Pay no attention to my first year, sir. She is confused. That’s what I’m here to talk to you about, actually. See, my first year, she’s fallen ill. Quite mad in the head, I’m afraid. I brought her to Nurse Tyler, but Nurse Tyler said that the only cure for her illness is to eat a bagel with a Ravenclaw, and so I need to borrow Krystal, because THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD is a Ravenclaw, see?” Here Kettleburn opens his mouth as if to speak, but Alice doesn’t allow it. “I knew you’d understand! You really are the most Slughorn-ish professor I know – except Slughorn himself, of course.” She says, before turning on her heel and all but sprinting over to where THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD is standing, first year in tow.

“Okay, Krystal, come along now, we need to go cure my first year.”

WHO: Krystal, Alice, and a first year who shall remain unnamed.
WHEN: Early September.
WHAT:Bagel hunting.
WORD COUNT: 1,318.
NOTES: You knew this was coming, THEBESTGIRLINTHEWORLD. Also, I may have randomly switched from present tense to past tense and back again, but I can't be bothered to check through and fix any errors, because I am lazy and do not care that much.

[/blockquote]

[KRYSTAL MARIE HARGREAVES]

Taking a deep breath, Krystal Hargreaves rolled her eyes as she slowly made her way out of her dorm room. "Why? Why do I have to go to Herbology?! Professor Kettleburn doesn't even care half the time!" She said half angrily to herself. There were so many other things that she could be doing at this moment in time than wandering down the the greenhouses to do whatever random item related to Herbology Professor Kettleburn was going to have them do. Rolling her eyes again she ignored the random Ravenclaws who greeted her and vanished out the common room door. "I still can't believe I have to go to this class right now."

Grimacing once more she stopped midway past the Great Hall and realized just how hungry she was. "Why do I have to be late today?!" She asked herself getting more annoyed by the second wandering out the doors starting to walk the short distance to the Herbology greenhouses. Kicking randomly at the ground she was sure she looked like an idiot throwing a fit, just because she had to go somewhere against her will. Krystal didn't care, no she didn't! She hated this class and wanted nothing to do with it! Unconsciously she lifted her clenched fist in the air randomly shaking it towards the greenhouses inevitably attracting more attention to herself. "Dang it, I really need to stop doing things like that. No wonder people think the FM girls are insane." Clearly talking to herself she sulked the rest of the way to the Herbology greenhouse making no effort to talk to anyone in her house or in other house for that matter. Shrugging off as people talked to her, she ignored them just walking past them or rolling her eyes. They knew not to talk to her in the first few moments of class, she would ignore them unless they were Alice, Tonks, or THECUTESTGIRLEVA. They're really the only ones Krystal can handle talking to at any time of day.

Glancing around the greenhouse she growled under her breath at the others in the room with as they chatted happily amongst one another. "Shut your faces." She muttered angrily. Rolling her eyes as Professor Kettleburn told them they would be learning something or another outside. Letting out an loud irritated sigh she rolled her eyes as she caught the Professor's attention. Upon him asking if she had a problem with their schedule for class today she opened her mouth to speak only to have him stop her and start to move the class outside. "Why ask if you're not going to answer." She said moving to the back of the class noticing a few of the other students dozing off leaning against various rocks or tree trunks.

Noticing the students getting more and more sleepy as class went on she dropped her bag smirking as she dug around looking nonstop before finding her quill laughing a little to herself as she tapped her chin. "Don't you kids know it's bad to sleep in your classes. Especially if I'm in them." Letting out a little snicker she moved swiftly over to the sleeping girl biting her lip bringing her quill to the innocent person's face thinking a moment of what to write. Leaning back she glanced around wondering if anyone had noticed before squeaking figuring out finally what to write. Bending over she moved her quill fluidly over the sleeping girl's face smirking trying to keep herself quiet as she wrote in her best hand-writing before sitting up quickly to admire her work.

Feeling instantly happy and proud of herself she glanced down as the girl, still sleeping, slowly started to stir a little only making Krystal feel more proud of herself looking down at the 'loser' written on the poor girls' face in such beautiful handwriting. Dropping her quill gracefully into her bag she stopped leaning her head to the side as she saw Alice walking straight up to Professor Kettleburn and almost running into him. Closing her bag, she watched carefully as the younger student Alice seemed to be holding onto exchanged words with the teacher.

Raising an eyebrow Krystal realized that Alice shouldn't even be in this class, no that she didn't mind seeing her best friend, but still.. "What is she doing here?" She thought to herself slinging her bag back over her shoulder taking a few steps toward the crazy girls he called her best friend. Catching a few of Alice's words the Ravenclaw couldn't help but laugh a little putting her hand to her forehead at the insane story. This reason, was in fact, why Krystal loved Alice so much.

After ignoring Professor Kettleburn's words Krystal waved happily to her professor before grabbing Alice's arm not even worrying about the first year and started to walk quickly away from the class as they all stood in awe. "I don't get why the classes are always surprised when you randomly come steal me away from class with these crack pot stories Alice.." She said eying the first year who obviously seemed to not want to be anywhere near Alice at this moment in time. "Also, what is the first year for? I mean, yeah, she went with the story quite nicely. Does she want a bagel too?!" Krystal asked suddenly getting very excited.

As the trio made their way back up to the castle Krystal half turned seeing Professor Kettleburn finally managing to get the class back to what they were previously doing. "Now, are we really getting a bagel, cause that sounds so good right now. I'll be upset if this adventure doesn't end with a good Alice joke and a bagel. In fact, I'll be offended if it doesn't. Just so you know." She said as she walked into the castle glancing around for a few seconds.

Tapping her chin thoughtfully on how to successfully get a bagel she took a quick look at the first year whom Alice was still clinging too. "Are you still not allowed to go down the kitchen because you offended that house elf? Because if you're not allowed to go down there, I really feel like that is going to make this a lot harder.." She said as they continued on their mission to get a bagel.

Krystal was quite surprised with herself for wanting a bagel so much at that moment, but all the talk and Kettleburn eating a donut had really ruined any thought of Krystal's going towards Herbology. One would think the Professors would know not to eat in front of the students during the classes, because then, as all people should know, the students aren't going to pay attention.

Shaking her head quickly, Krystal realized she couldn't allow her thoughts to wander to such useless thoughts at a time like this. The girls needed to complete the mission of getting a bagel at whatever cost was necessary. "We need options A. We need them now. Easiest way to get a bagel without the kitchen elves seeing you." She said quickly hitting a tight fist against her open palm as she thought of other options to get this bagel for her best friend, after all the FM had to stick together, even with one forcefully dragging a first year around against her will. Reaching over, Krystal lightly patted the first year's head and smiled. "You brave little soldier.." She said laughing a little. "I acknowledge your pain. It'll all be over soon." She finished smiling looking back to her best friend. "The mission can now commence with no remorse for the first year."

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Who: Krystal and Alice.
What: Bagel Hunting Mission.
When: Early September
Word Count: 1,325
Comments: Alice, this has taken me quite a while and it really didn't turn out the way I thought it would. But damn it we will drag that first year while we get a bagel and she will like it! Also, ignore my errors. Haha

[ALICE MICHELE ADAMS]

ERMERGERD, BAGEL SO TASTY !

[/size]
come on bagel, get in my mouth.[/size][/center]

Alice immediately felt better once she had Krystal with her. This was partially because Krystal’s presence was just sort of soothing, but mostly because she knew that now she had enlisted Krys’s help, she would get her bagel or they would get a week’s worth of detention trying. That was how the FM worked. If one of them needed something, all of them needed something.

Grinning broadly as she and Krys left Kettleburn looking puzzled, Alice continued dragging her unwilling first year behind her. Krys was holding onto her arm and this left Alice effectively sandwiched between her first year and her best friend, but she didn’t mind. A lesser person might have been offended by someone using the words ‘crack pot’ while talking about them, but not Alice. She just grinned at Krystal and let out a slightly maniacal laugh. “Right? Honestly, you’d think they’d be used to my stories by now. Remember third year, when I came into your Charms class and said you needed to come with me, because there was a clan of vampires attacking the castle, and only the hair of a Hargreaves girl could slay them? Man, that was some of my best work…” Her tone had become vaguely reminiscent as she spoke, and she was staring out into the distance when Krys spoke again.

Shaking herself out of her memories, Alice glanced down at the first year, who was wearing an expression akin to a puppy who didn’t want to walk on a leash. “Oh, her? I don’t know. She just seems… useful. Like if we happen to come to a bottomless pit, we could use her as a bridge…” At Krys asking if the first year wanted a bagel, too, Alice raised one eyebrow. She hadn’t thought of that. Turning to look at the first year as she walked, she asked, “Do you want a bagel?”

The first year made a noise like a wounded cow and said, “I just want to go paint my nails!”

Alice gave a little ‘tsk’ and said, “Nonsense, you want a bagel.” Satisfied that that had been sorted out, she turned her attention back to Krystal.

“Now, are we really getting a bagel, cause that sounds so good right now.”

Alice was about to say that damn right, they were getting a bagel, but then Krystal said something about ‘a good Alice joke’ and she was reminded of the first year’s refusal to laugh at her joke. "Speaking of jokes!” She cried, her desire for a bagel momentarily forgotten, “Before I came to get you, I told her” - here she jerked her head in the first year’s general direction – “my ‘hare to fix your toilet’ joke, and she didn’t even laugh! And I used the puppets from divination class and everything! There’s something wrong with her, Krys. I’d take her to Nurse Tyler, but Nurse Tyler probably caused it! I think Nurse Tyler probably poisoned her! We should tell Dumbledore, because nobody, and I mean nobody takes away first year’s ability to laugh at my jokes!”

She was about to go on about how Nurse Tyler just kept taking away all the things she loved [read: Slughorn] but then a Slytherin strolled by, presumably having come from the great hall, eating a piece of bread with jam, and this reminded her that she wanted a bagel, because bagels are a type of bread.

With a little squeak, she jumped in the air and shouted, “Need bagel now or will die!”

Luckily, Krystal then distracted her from her imminent death by beginning to brainstorm options. “I am still banned from the kitchens.” She answered sadly, her shoulders slumping and her grip on the first year’s arm slackening slightly. The first year attempted to yank her arm away and in response Alice turned on her and shrieked, “OI, WE ARE BRAINSTORMING OPTIONS, BEHAVE YOURSELF SMALL PERSON.”

The first year started to point out that Alice wasn’t that much taller than her, but quickly thought better of it and returned to standing silently beside the older girl.

Apparently satisfied that the first year had remembered her place, Alice turned back to Krys and began using her free hand to stroke her chin thoughtfully. “Well,” She said slowly, “We could go for a disguise. I could wear a wig! I think that ginger wig I wore last Halloween is still in my trunk. And oh, those glasses I stole from that muggle boy in London over the summer are in there, too! And I still have a pair of Tonks’ Hufflepuff robes from last week when I tried to tar and feather Olivia, but ended up tarring myself and feathering McG, and Tonks had to lend me her robes while McG yelled at me, remember?” Her voice rose in pitch as she spoke until she was essentially squeaking at Krystal, and, upon realizing this, she cleared her throat and tried to look very dignified as she continued, “Or you know, we could…” She was about to suggest they just use ‘accio’ to summon some bagels from the kitchens, but that sounded spectacularly un-fun, and so she finished with, “Nevermind, that’s all I got.”

Alice grinned as Krystal used the exact words she’d used earlier to reassure the first year. Man, they were so in sync. Still grinning, she nodded at Krystal. “Well done, man. Is Operation Ginger Hufflepuff a go then?"

WHO: Krystal, Alice, and a bottomless pit bridge first year.
WHEN: Early September.
WHAT:Bagel hunting.
WORD COUNT: 901.
NOTES: Balls, this took me so long to get to. Also, LOL, my first post was all present tense and now I'm just like, HEY LOOK PAST TENSE WUUUUUUUT. But whatever. I DON'T GIVE A FUDGE.

[/blockquote]

[KRYSTAL MARIE HARGREAVES]

Listening to Alices' tone, Krystal vaguely nodded her head. She certainly remembered many times that Alice had gotten her out of class with some of the craziest stories she could come up with. Those were the good times.. "Yet, the good times keep coming..."Krystal found herself dazing out as she thought of that before remembering there was a terrified first year with them. Glancing down at the first year Krystal let out a laugh. "Have you told her that once she's been chosen by you, she is never allowed to leave? She's stuck with you for the remainder of the year?" She said carefully eyeing the first year watching her eyes widen even more. Krystal just shrugged and nodded. "You'd be wise, young one, to just let Alice drag you around. It would be to your benefit."

Turning her attention back to her best friend Krystal smiled. The FM could never go a day without dragging someone out of class and making them go on some insane mission around the school. She wondered how they hadn't been kicked out yet. Dumbledore must like them. That was the only way Krystal could see this working as well as it did. Covering her mouth as she laughed, Krystal shrugged. "Once she sees the bagel, she'll totally want it. Then, and only then, can she go paint her nails. Unless we think of something else we want to do. Then, she'll have to come along for that. Oh won't it be fun!" Quickly clapping her hands together Krystal gave the small girl a wide smile.

Jumping slightly at Alice's sudden outburst she turned her attention completely back to her best friend smiling wide. She loved any joke told by Alice almost as much as she loved living. And she loved living a lot. At the very thought of the first year not laughing, she gave a very exaggerated gasp jerking her head to look at the first year. "You told her the joke exactly as you've told the rest of the FM?" Krystal felt like this was very crucial in her judgement of the first year. If Alice had told it exactly like that, it was hilarious enough to even make the saddest person ever laugh. If this were the case, there was definitely something wrong with this girl. "Alice, you can't take her to Nurse Tyler anyway. Doesn't Nurse Tyler hate you and Tonks?" She asked tapping her chin lightly trying to remember things correctly. Her mind was still fuzzy at the thought of this very first year not thinking that joke was funny.

Punching her fist in the air to match Alice, Krystal nodded and suddenly her face became very serious. "Bagel. Now. The mission must begin." She said nodding quickly looking around not even realizing how far they had walked. Tapping her chin she shook her head as the first year tried to escape. "Honestly, it's no use trying to get away, you really won't get very far. And when you run, we'll have to chase you down. Tackle you and possibly use magic to bond you to us for a certain amount of time. It's really just a futile effort. I would stop trying." She stated quickly before turning her attention back to the options of getting a bagel. "You may be banned from the kitchen, but her and I aren't... Well maybe they know me through you... But if you're not with me they can't believe that I will cause too much trouble. We need disguises Alice." Krystal hadn't really realized that she was more talking to herself than to the other two until her thoughts had been completed.

"That day was amazing. I don't know who could forget the day you became a Hufflepuff. I only wish we could have documented that for the future." She said slightly sad at the thought of not having anything to remember this by. "I'm completely out of ideas.. I say we just dress you up as a ginger hufflepuff and get our bagels and then off to find the rest of FM. Let's make this another epic adventure!" She said putting her fist out in front of her smiling wide at Alice. Nodding her head firmly she looked forward. "Operation Hufflepuff is a go! Off to Gryffindor Tower!" She said quickly grabbing her friends' arm dragging her along the corridor to Gryffindor Tower. She didn't worry too much about the first year, she would be dragged by Alice, so Krystal didn't have to think about her too much.

Walking quickly down the corriders Krsytal quickly realized that she wouldn't know how to get in the Gryffindor Common Room. But this didn't stop her. Oh no, nothing could stop this Operation. Krystal wouldn't allow it. Still pulling Alice along she smiled. "You will have to get us into the Common Room, I have no idea how to get in there. You Gryffs are very mysterious!"She said clearly upset that she couldn't get into the Gryffindor Common Room. Though after today she would! And then Alice would never have to have another moment without Krystal again! After a few minutes, the three girls finally came up on the door. Moving aside, Krystal let Alice do her thing so they could enter and properly begin their mission.

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Who: Krystal and Alice.
What: Bagel Hunting Mission.
When: Early September
Word Count: 926
Comments: Alice, this has taken me quite a while and it really didn't turn out the way I thought it would. But damn it we will drag that first year while we get a bagel and she will like it! Also, ignore my errors. Haha