Piratey Hogsmeade [OPEN]

[SIDNEY MARSHALL]

Click.Click. Click. One would assume this was the sound of a heel high worn on the foot of a powerful woman, making her feel taller than she normally stands which is of course at 5'5". But that, was not the case. No this sound belonged to someone particular. Someone who people starred at as they walked by. Did he like the attention? Maybe. Did he adore the woman who's jaws dropped as he passed? Oh yes. Yes he did. Did he like the occasional wink from a man? Who wouldn't? What was the sound? The wooden peg leg of Sid Marshall.

Sid Marshall was a known wizard pirate. Sometimes bumbling, mostly drunk. It was said that he was trapped on an island and survived off drinking Firewhiskey and got home by riding towards a sunset on a Narwhal. How he got the peg leg was a longer story and if someone buys him a Firewhiskey at a local pub he would reenact it in great detail. With calloused hands Sid brought a cigarette up to his cracked lips. Lighting it wandlessly he inhaled the toxins into his throat. Today he was off on a mission. That morning he had made a t-shirt announcing his mission. FRONT: Peg Leg Sid. BACK: Is Lookin' for a Pet.

That's right. A pet. One pet that would knock all pets out of the water. His one eye glanced over the stores in his paths. Yes one eye. As every great pirate, Sid also had an eye patch over his left eye. Why the water dragon went for the left eye and not the right only the water dragon can tell. But he's dead, so that's impossible. The water dragon was killed with love, in case you wanted to know. Wait. That was a lie, with a canon which was lit with love.

Peg leg Sid pushed open the door, the bell rang signaling the employee of his arrival. A child cried at the sight of him. Sid stole his lollipop.........but then gave it back. He hobbled charmingly over to the counter where the employee stood bored out of her mind. "'Ello love. Care to show me your finest pets fit for a dashing pirate?" Sid could tell this peaked her interest, seeing as she blushed pink like a radish. Or were radishes red? He couldn't remember, seeing as he hadn't eaten them since he was two. It was not a pleasant day. He shuddered at the memory but returned his attentions back to the girl.

She stood quickly, probably because she was nervous that he was a pirate. She showed him around but nothing was catching his eyes...eye. "Do you have anything better?" The girl rolled her eyes, probably because she had both. Her stumpy fingers waved him towards the back, he followed her with a raised brow, curious as to what was back there. What he saw stopped him in his tracks. A parrot. More specific: A Krystal Parrot. This was turning out to be his lucky day.

"I'll take it!"

[KRYSTAL MARIE HARGREAVES]

Glancing around the store Krystal the parrot made an annoying squaking noise at the chick working. Not that she could understand what was coming out of Krystal the parrot's mout- no she has a beak. A beak fit only for the finest of all the pirates. The pirate she would eventually choose had to meet her parrot-like requirements. First on this list: Peg leg. If this pirate were to have two legs, Krystal the parrot would make an awful squaking noise to get this fake-pirate out of her life. Second on this list: The left eye must be missing. Not the right. The right was the sign of the water dragon not trying to kill this pirate and, as I've stated before, Krystal the parrot could only go to the best of the best.

As the worker maid came over to her, Krystal the parrot bit at her fingers as she fed her. "SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!" She yelled furiously at this woman making her jump back a few feet. Flapping her wings furiously she shook her head leaning down taking a bite of the crackers that were unwillingly put into her cage. Krystal the parrot could understand humans, you see. She was very intelligent, not that the humans could figure this out. Only the best of the pirates could know this. By the way, that's the third on Krystal the parrot's list of requirements for her pirate. With that being said, Krystal the parrot knew what the workers of this particular store thought of her. They were all rather terrified of her and knew they'd probably never sell her. But Krystal the parrot would never give up hope! NEVER! Making another loud squaking noise she lifted one of her wings shaking it furiously as she looked at the worker.

As the workers began to ignore her squaking, Krystal the parrot finally decided to give up for the day and began day-dreaming of her perfect pirate. On to requirement number 4! They must be a wizard. Yes, a wizard. Why was this requirement here? Because she was in Hogsmeade! Of course they had to be a wizard! Pfft silly humans. Nomming on crackers ungraciously given to her, she nommed closing her eyes faintly hearing the bell that meant a new customer that most likely wouldn't want Krystal the parrot. The thought made her slightly sad. But again! She wouldn't ever give up! She couldn't! Some wizard pirate out there would make her perfect pirate! The day would soon be here.

Opening one eye she glanced at the new customer instantly dropping part of the cracker out of her mou- beak. Staring at him she watched as he looked at all the pets out there that, from just his looks, did not deserve his time. About to make a loud and obnoxious squaking noise, she noticed the worker lead him her way. Was this happening? Was it finally her moment? As his voiced exclaimed he would take her she let out a celebratory obnoxious squaking noise and she jumped off her perch flying over in front of him.

As she looked him up and down she checked off her checklist in her mind as she stared at him. Only one more could be checked off and she could meet her perfect wizard pirate. Did this wizard pirate know she could understand everything his said. As she stared into his eyes flapping her little wings until she was tired she watched him. She had to know if this pirate wizard was the perfect wizard for her.

[NYMPHADORA TONKS]

It had been a long day, and Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid was knackered. She had spent the first part of the morning [like she does every morning] attempting to swim through the air; but as it happens, that is pretty much impossible. Anyone could tell you that you don’t swim through air, you swim through water. There was one flaw with that plan, however; Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid was afraid of water. It may sound crazy to you, to hear that a mermaid could be afraid of the sea; but why else would one be land-based? Besides, she had a perfectly good reason to be afraid of the deep blue, for when she was a wee bonnie lass, she was captured! Not by a fisherman, as you might assume, but by none other than a real, live pirate! Well, I say real, but in actual fact he was nothing but a fraud. How did Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid know this? Simple. He had no wooden leg, a pet cockatoo, and an eye patch on his RIGHT eye. Nothing says faker, like a patched-right eye.

I’m sure by now you are wondering, just what the connection between water and this pirate-wannabe is? Well, let me tell you. Not only was this man a poor imitation of a pirate; he was also a sick, twisted and sadistic soul! When he water-napped poor Tonks The Land-Based Pirate, he attached her to the end of his boat and set off to sail the seven seas. Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid was met with constant splashes of ocean to the face, perverted, leering sharks and even the odd ice berg or too! Not to mention all the nippy crabs with their busy han- claws.

It was years before Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid ever saw freedom; and not a day too soon! She had all but given up hope, when an enemy submarine, presumably rogue spies, attacked! The submarine and pirate ship were at war for many hours, before The Old Greg [namely; the pirate ship] suffered defeat. It was left in ruins, and its captain left to die, along with the hopeless case of Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid. Now this is where the story really gets interesting; Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid, still slightly attached to the remnants of the ship, was ready to welcome death when something peculiar happened; a goat, that’s right – a goat – a creature of land, had found its way out to the middle of the ocean and gnawed her free. She could move again! How good it felt. She thanked the goat, and he bowed his head nobly. However, she found herself afraid to go back into the water after this; and took the goat as a sign that she should forever live on land.

She’d fallen asleep that day, and when she awoke she was back on the shore. There’s much of a debate as to whether the goat ever existed, or whether Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid was so dehydrated and disorientated that she imagined the whole thing. No matter which was right, one thing was for sure; as long as she lived, Tonks The Land-Based Mermaid would never step foot – or fin – in the sea again; and the only times she would come into contact with water was to wash and drink. Needless to say, ever since this day, she was also wary of pirates – especially the fake-looking ones.

But now back to the day in question; as I already told you, Tonks the land-based mermaid had spent the first half of the morning attempting to swim through the air, and the rest of the morning had been spent hopping around upright on her fins [her only means of transportation]. After lunch she done some more hopping, followed closely by yet again MORE hopping. She was all-hopped out when she decided to make one last stop before retreating to her land-based home; the pet store. The bell tingled as she entered, and it was there she saw it; the most beautiful Krystal Parrot she had ever seen! The most beautiful Krystal Parrot she had ever seen… being bought, by none other than a pirate! Could she risk swooping in and bidding on this parrot, or would said pirate – though apparently genuine – doom her to head his ship forever more? One squawk from the Krystal Parrot, and her mind was made up. She had to have that Krystal Parrot!
“I have to have that Krystal Parrot!” she exclaimed. “Whatever this fiend has offered, I will give you double!” she slammed her fist on the counter, to prove she meant business.

[SIDNEY MARSHALL]

"Fiend!? I am offended." He looked towards his Krystal Parrot. He would be claimin' her for his own no matter what. Rising an eyebrow at the Krystal Parrot he snorted. "Can you believe a mermaid wants you to the pet of a someone who's not a true pirate?!" He was flabbergasted. Honestly, flabbergasted. Flabbergasted. That was a fun word. He chuckled, and started to laugh more. Petting Krystal Parrot in a loving manner.

"Listen little lassy. A Krystal Parrot deserves to be on the shoulder of the finest pirate. And the finest pirate deserves to have a Krystal Parrot on his shoulder. A pirate can only be so lucky you see." He gave a small wink to the Krystal Parrot before turning back to the hobbling mermaid. "I'll make ya a deal. Since I'm a wizard I can either help ye get back into swimming on a small pool I have on my deck or I can give ye legs."

He was hoping for either really, most pirates didn't think Mermaids were lucky but they really were. "I ain't gonna put you on my ship as a decoration neither. I've heard of that happen' tears up my pirate eye in shame. Mermaids should be treated with respect." He bowed at the young mermaid. "Honesty, would this eyes lie to ye?"

[EVAN NICOLAS ROSIER]

Moseying about the sea with not a care in the world was Kracken Evan. He was very drowsy from all the killing and maiming of fake pirates with their two legs and their right patched eyes. He was not at all pleased with them and their obvious fraudulent ways. Silly feaux pirates. They never had any idea what was coming, until one of his overly large hand...tentacles crashed upon the deck of their ships and cracked it in half.

All the snapping and swallowing and the heat made him sleepy but he knew there were more to be found and persecuted! He must prevail over the evil doers. HAHA! He spotted a ship, but where was it's captain? He had to sure! Never ever maim a real pirate, Kracken 101. "I will catch you, evil one! And send you down to the depths! HA!"

So the water above him swirled as his tentacles and enormous body moved effortlessly through the sea. Mermaids, schools of shark-men and pesky lightening fish swarmed away from the sea monster on a mission. He had no time for rest! There was none for the wicked and there wouldn't be for the unlucky pirates aboard previously mentioned ship.

Slowly but surely he made his way up and out, peeking through the waves with his two big black eyes. Said eyeballs shifted from side to side as if he were on an evening stroll...well, swim. Like it was really nothing and if he had a mouth to whistle, he was quite sure he would have. So instead of physically doing it, he whistled in his head.

(WELL THAT IS JUST ABSURD. Kracken's can't whistle! They don't even know what whistling is! SHUT UP. THIS IS MY WORLD OKAY?! Right. Back to my story.) So here Kracken Evan was, with his ginormous body, long flowing tentacles and whistling along. He inched up and up until the great big eyes were peering over the side of the ship and onto the starboard side. One tentacle up and he tipped it slowly for a closer look.

"FOILED! No sign of anyone. How am I to know who's ship this is if there is no one manning it?! Ridiculous pirate! Leaving a ship unattended." he was ruffled and if he was made of feathers he was quite positive they would sticking up in all directions. He threw his tentacles up about in the air, sending flurries of water droplets everywhere! Quite a sight if one were around to see said occurrence. He decided to wait patiently by the massive vessel (which of course wasn't really that big when looking at him next to it, but it was still a nice size. He would have like a ship that size if he had been human.) until it's owner returned.